Korean Pop Princess to English Superstar: "I'm Gonna Get Cha!"

Seoul – Korean pop star Hyori Lee, who was sued this March by attorneys representing Britney Spears for copyright infringement on one of Spears’ songs has reportedly replicated the efforts of the Louisiana beauty once more, this time in the dating arena.
“Oops she…” This reporter doesn’t even want to go there.
Lee was quoted last month as saying: “You know I’m jealous of her. Not because of her musical success but because of her ‘Pabo’ husband.” In Lee’s eye, being married to such a buffoon creates an image of even greater independence and strength for Britney. “Here’s a woman who has reached the absolute pinnacle of success and done it while carrying in tow an absolute lead shot of a husband. Being with Federline makes climbing Suraksan, like Everest and I want people to see me in that light too.”
For Lee, 26, in whose native Korea reaching the age of thirty without being married is punishable by death, the time is now.
And with the world cup of football on televisions around the world these days she didn’t have to look far.
“Prior to the championship I was watching one of those sportscaster prediction shows and when his photo came on screen I instantly sang to myself: ‘Wayne Rooney! I’m Gonna Get Cha!’”
Apparently it was love at first sight. “I saw an interview with him and instantly knew that the only man uglier, stupider and more likely to drag anyone attached to him into the ditch than Kevin Federline, was Wayne Rooney.”
In the time since then Hyori has been fiercely wooing her idiot beau. She reportedly nursed his injured foot back to health in record time by feeding Wayne the Korean hangover drink that she endorses, Beeta Oh Beck (Vita500) and has since been seen rooting for the Englishman in his countries football contests. “When friends see us together they think I’m with Gandolf. And when he speaks they just can’t stop laughing.” Said an absolutely jubilant Lee. “While Kevin has been wasting Britney’s money to chase an unattainable rap contract, Wayne’s been using mine to chase [45 year old Liverpool prostitute] Old Slapper! Together we shall conquer the World!”
And what do most Koreans think about their pop princess chasing a man whose flag so closely resembles that of their bitter enemy the Swiss? Our Australian correspondent, David Smeaton had this to say: “The Koreans are VERY ANGRY.”